You Weigh? You Pay!

American Airlines has announced a new $15 fee when passengers check a bag. And, although I must have missed it, some months back they apparently announced a $25 charge for the second checked bag.

Clearly, the airlines are looking for ways to offset the skyrocketing cost of jet fuel. The rationale here, of course, is that the more the plane weighs, the more fuel it takes to push it through the air.

According to one news story I saw the other day, the cost of jet fuel for American Airlines has increased by three billion dollars a year. That is a helluva lot of money and, one way or another, it will have to come from the traveling public.

I have no problem with that. In fact, maybe these new fees will cause people to start getting smart about the way they pack for travel. The day I got back from my recent trip to the mainland, I noticed a couple in their late 20s at the Maui airport claiming their bags at the carousel. These two people were traveling with six large bags that must have weighed a total of at least 250 pounds. And they were only going to be here for a week.

That’s ridiculous! They couldn’t possibly use all that stuff if they changed clothes every three hours. But with the new fees, they would have been whacked an extra $130. And I say good! Why should my air fare be increased to cover the cost of flying their excess baggage? I travel with one carry-on bag and can be gone for three to four weeks with no problem.

Oh, yes …one more thing: What about the 300-pounders who wedge themselves into the seat next to you? I vote we make them buy two seats!

Hawaiian Pidgin: Communicating To Da Max!

Visitors to Hawaii are immediately aware of the incredible natural beauty of these islands and that awareness is enhanced the more they travel around this place.

But to me, one of the really interesting and more enjoyable things about Hawaii is the pidgin English that locals use when speaking informally among themselves. Some use it most of the time, others whenever the mood strikes, but it’s colorful and highly descriptive … and a great deal of fun. It borrows from Hawaiian and Japanese and Chinese and from the two main Filipino dialects, not to mention some delightful twists given to recognizable English words.

Here are just a few samples ...

You meet another local on the street, you say, Howzit?

If a teenager wants to go out for a burger he'll say You like grind?

If mama’s teriyaki chicken is really good, tell her it broke da mouth.

If something was a total failure, say it was a bus’ egg.

One of the more flexible of our pidgin words is puka (pronounced POO-kuh) which is the Hawaiian word for "hole" … as in the damn dog dug a puka right in the middle of our back yard.

But also: the County guys is patching a big puka in the road.

Or: I had to go to the dentist because I had a puka.

Or: I drove around the block three times before I found a puka.

Or even: My zip code is nine-six-seven-puka-eight.

Or better yet: Gawge Bush? Fo’ grade, da buggah get one beeg puka!

The best – and funniest – book about Hawaiian pidgin is called Pidgin To Da Max and is available in bookstores throughout Hawaii and from Amazon.com.

A final word of advice: Until you really know your way around and until you get both the context and the inflections exactly right, leave the pidgin to the "locals" ... udduhwise by-m-by one local guy going bus' you up.

A Great Public Transit System in Tahiti? Believe It!

Driving home from town this afternoon, I was enjoying some Tahitian music on one of the local radio stations and it brought back some wonderful memories of our several visits to that glorious part of the world.

French Polynesia is made up of several groups of islands, the better known being Tahiti, Moorea, Bora Bora, Raiatea, and Huahine. It’s an incredibly beautiful place with its own unique charm … an exotic blend of real Polynesia overlaid with a generous French veneer.

This is an aerial view of the Hotel Bora Bora where I’ve stayed on three occasions. If I had to pick one place in the world to visit for a week, it would be this hotel on this island. It is, in a word, perfect!

At any rate, these islands also offer what has to be one of the most colorful and yet practical forms of public transportation: le truck. Essentially these are flatbed trucks that have been modified with a wooden roof and open sides. Some, but not all, have roll-down plastic covers for the very rainy days. And most have boom boxes mounted inside and blaring Tahitian music.

Heading into town? Take le truck. Traveling around the island? Take le truck. When you’re ready to go, just stand beside the road. Le truck will be along in a few minutes. Drivers are independent entrepreneurs, who follow specific routes and charge fares that are regulated by the government. Your fellow passengers will be a colorful and jovial mixture of the island population, often one or two visiting back-packers, and an occasional bank president from Indiana thrown in for good measure. You just never know.

Of course with all the regulatory agencies and liability concerns in our litigious society, le truck would never work in the U.S. But, once again, somebody in a far corner of the world has come up with a wonderful, practical, efficient, economical public transit system. One that works.

Amtrak Knows How to Deal with Unruly Passengers

Several people were kicked off one of Amtrak’s Cascade trains the other day at the Olympia-Lacey station, some 75 miles south of Seattle. They were caught smoking on board and Amtrak’s policy is clear: Smoke on board and you’ll be getting off at the next stop.

On one of my Amtrak trips, I chatted with a conductor about how they deal with troublesome passengers – usually people caught smoking or someone who’s had too many beers in the lounge car.

“We tell them to change their behavior or we’ll put them off the train,” he said. “If they keep it up, there is no second warning. We don’t want them to know ahead of time that we’re going to put them off. That can lead to big problems because some of them will get violent. So the next thing they know, the train has stopped and they’re looking up at a couple of big state troopers.”

I had a first-hand experience with this many years ago aboard the late lamented Desert Wind as we were heading southwest across Nevada toward Los Angeles. A disreputable character in one of the coaches had been wandering into the sleeping cars cajoling passengers into giving him their little bottle of complimentary wine. (Ah, those were the days!)

The Amtrak conductor dealt with this clown very effectively. The train stopped in the middle of the Nevada desert where a state highway crossed the tracks. A police car was there waiting and, when last seen, the wine hound was looking back at us from the rear seat of the police car en route to the jail at Caliente, Nevada.

Several of us waved good-bye to him from the air-conditioned comfort of the lounge car. There was even a smattering of applause.

The U.S.A. Leads the Way

The New York Times recently published an in-depth article on the current oil crisis in which they pointed out that the United States is the only industrialized country that has significantly increased its consumption of oil since the oil shocks of the 70s and 80s.

Here’s how our oil consumption since 1980 compares with a few other countries:

Denmark – down 33%
Sweden – down 32%
Germany – down 20%
Switzerland – down 18%
France – down 14%
Finland – down 14%
Italy – down 13%
Japan – up 0.2%
England – up 2%
United States – up 21%

There are several reasons for our “performance”:

> We still have some of the lowest gas prices in the world.
> We still insist on driving big cars.
> We have very low taxes on energy.
> We have the longest daily commutes, which we do by car instead of transit.

Bottom line? The U.S. accounts for about a quarter of the entire world’s daily consumption of oil and fully half of that goes into our cars and trucks.

So all together now: We’re Number One! We’re Number One!

Sixty-One Million Tax Dollars Down the Drain.

Five or six years ago, city officials in Hagerstown, Maryland, wanted to induce the airlines to start bringing jet aircraft in and out of their municipal airport instead of the prop jobs. The goal was better air service for the residents of the area.

So they spent $61 million on a nice new 7,000-foot concrete runway which was finally ready for service six months ago. Trouble is, two months earlier Hagerstown lost all scheduled air service. The reason? Cut-backs by airlines as the result of high fuel prices and tough times generally for the aviation business.

This is not an isolated case either. Across the country, 30 cities have lost all scheduled air service just in the past year and 400 other cities and towns have seen the number of flights to their airports reduced. According to the Official Airline Guide, almost 23,000 fewer domestic flights were scheduled this month compared to May of last year.

Anyone who doesn’t understand that the airline industry in this country is in big trouble just hasn’t been paying attention.

You know where I’m going with this, right? Right! Passenger trains can step up and, in a great many of those cities and towns, fill the transportation void. It’s going to happen, too … it’s just a question of time. Public officials at all levels are finally beginning to see the light, but it's going to take new awareness, some political courage and a bunch of tax dollars. Help ‘em out, will you? Call, fax or email your federal and state reps and give them a friendly push.

And consider joining the National Association of Railroad Passengers. The people in NARP's Washington office work tirelessly to educate the key senators and representatives and to press for adequate funding for rail in general and Amtrak in particular. This is a non-profit, non-partisan organization whose mission is to work for “a modern, customer-focused national passenger train network that provides a travel choice Americans want.”

Sounds like a pretty darn good idea, doesn't it? I'm damn sure the people in Hagerstown think so!

To Tip or Not to Tip, That Is the Question

I received an email yesterday from someone about to take an overnight trip on Amtrak. She wanted to know who and how much to tip. Good question! About the only reference I’ve ever seen in any of the material Amtrak puts out is pretty vague … just saying that tipping is optional, but appreciated. Well, for what it’s worth, here’s how I deal with this issue, whether on Amtrak or VIA Rail in Canada.

First, don’t tip the conductors. (Believe it or not, I’ve been asked that question more than once over the years.)

Tip car attendants in coaches if they are especially helpful or friendly or if you have asked for and received some special service. How much? I’d say $2 or $3 for each night you’re on board … or more if, for example, you’re traveling with kids and the attendant has had to clean up after them.

My rule-of-thumb for sleeping car attendants is $5 per night per person … meaning if there are two of you traveling in a roomette for two nights from Chicago to Seattle, tip $20 when you get to the end of your trip. If you're traveling solo, 10 bucks.

It’s customary to leave some extra change for the lounge car attendant when you make purchases there.

In the dining car, follow the normal custom for any restaurant by tipping 15 percent of the cost of the meal. I’ve noticed that many sleeping car passengers fail to tip because their meals are “free” … meaning they’re included in the cost of the ticket. That’s really a shame because the IRS assumes the servers receive tips and their income tax is computed accordingly. So note the price of the meal when you order and tip accordingly. Furthermore, assuming the service is good – and it almost always is – be generous, because the dining car crews work very hard, usually starting at 6:30 in the morning and often going well past 9:00 p.m.

All that said, don’t hesitate to tip less, or even not at all, if you get poor service. Hopefully, that will be a rare experience.